*Friday, April 29, 2005*
neva felt more relaxed.. confident.. loved before.... seriously... 1st time in history, where i dun enter an test conditioned room feeling stressed out, anxious... wif panic attacks... felt like tt whole fear-of-tests-and-exams feeling was fineto!!! i walked in and out... confident.. tt i cld do it... didnt really care whether if i read the qns wrong... the kinda mark i wld get.. nope.. tt was like the least of moi worries... the most impt thingo was tt i had overcome tt horrigible fear... and it felt GREAT!!!
its moi 2nd time at Urban Life, and i neva regretted it!! amazing... not boring.. not silly.. but its brand new everytime i go.
last nite, Eileen shared and it was based on Pastor Rob Bradbury's sermon last weekend!! and 1 thin struck me really hard was when she said " if u sya it out that you won't be able to do it for a certain situation, it creates a hole for the devil to put thoughts in your head, and u will neva b able to make it".. and i realise how true tt was today.... i was surrounded wif ppl hu had esl sac and they all went "i'm gonna fail".. and i realise how true Eileen's words were. tt hole wld b made bigger as the wrong menu is choosen and wrong thots enter our minds and affect the way we face our situations.
after the sharing.. we had to break up into small grps to pray... i was in a grp wif PeiJet,Amy, Juni, Bonnie, Tommy and 2 other guys who's names i didnt catch... anywaz... we kinda spilt again into guys and gurls for prayer (coz we juz shared how our day was in da bigger grp) and we gurls headed into PeiJets comfy room... it was a time of serious sharing, where wat cld not b shared outside was shared inside and i really admired PeiJet's courage to take tt step and share wif us her feelings abt some personal set backs... i realise tt all of us had issues wif our self confidence and wat it cld do to really affect us badly if not taken care of. i took up tt courage to pour out moi fears and i thank God for tt sharing and tt prayer. God really answered their prayers for me, esp for moi chem sac today as i didnt go in feeling panicky... and i had lots of self confidence today... thanks to God for helping me relax.. giving me a clear head... and time to do moi qns... thank God for not allowing moi to think abt moi size when others were talking abt loosing weight for da formal coz it really wasnt impt how u look like on da outside but on da inside... though some said tt i was a bit heavy... legs not slender... so wat?? wat usually affected me.. didnt really take effect today as i now tt God had this protection barrier ard me which was placed on last nite during prayer in PeiJet's room... Thank God!!!!!!!
ling long picked a waterdrop @ 1:30 pm
