*Friday, May 13, 2005*
Urban Life last night... was.. Awesome!!! tts abt the onli word i can use to describe it... every Urban Life tt i've been to never fails to stir something up in me.. and this week was no exception...
last night, Ee Lin shared abt breakthroughs, abt how the Holy Spirit acts like water and fire on earth. Like water, the Holy spirit can destroy by acting like the Tsunami, or like water stored up in a dam,which generates power when run through the turbine, which lights a city up. Like fire, the Holy Spirit can flow down like larva from a volcano, killing all plantlife in its way, yet soil is most fertile after this and allows plants to grow better.
there are many things of my past which i wanna put behind me forever, to forget, yet i still hold onto them unknowingly and it seems as though i have made my insecurities my security..
when Ee Lin came over and prayed for me while i was bawling moi eyes out, something she said really woke me up. i was asking God to show me a lot of stuff, to prove to me tt He was real in my life, when she mentioned something like "God sees the passion in you, that you hunger for Him, but u haf relied on ur own strength to find joy, to forget things of the past to let go, that God says its time to rely on Him and really let go. Are you willing to give it up to HIm? God wants to rid you of tt emotional turmoil u face, being high at 1 moment and juz be in ur room crying the next, feeling alone"....
seriously... when some1 hu knew u onli 4 a few weeks came and told u this kinda stuff... how wld u react? duh!!! i wld believe her... i mean.. sheesh... i realised that God was real the moement she started saying all this, tt God saw me, and heard me when i was at my weakest, but it was then tt i relied on myself to pull me up and not God.
it also also shared tt at our weakest oint, God wants to change our lives, tt we can stand up and allow God in, and He will burn in us. Another was of wood, though being at its dryest burns best...
God is really... i dunno how to describe it... amazing... awesome.. marvelous... Ee Lin shared tt she had to b a murderer every morning, killing things of the flesh tt wld hinder her walk wif God... its probably abt time... to accept the fact tt His thick blood was shed for me.. that i haf to face up to watever's bothering me and focus on God...
ling long picked a waterdrop @ 12:59 am
