*Friday, November 11, 2005*
listening to "all for love", reading abt suicidal bombers killing 57 in Jordan Hotels... even a wedding celebration was not let off.... and the words "thou they know not what they do" drifted into the air....
yesterday.. sitting on the train... those green, old ones tt hardly ppear anymore for me to sit in.. and well.. yah.. we were going off.. and i looked out and went dizzy... specks of dirt on that window, disallowed me to appreciate the natural view outside which i always enjoy in the morning... when nature became the backgroud, my vision becomes blur, yet when its in the foreground, i can see clearly and ignore the dirt...
this whole week.. i felt like i cldnt grasp onto Him, tt i had almost given up hope coz my maths paper to me was a tota disaster... a complete disappointment... its like life... when dirt comes forward, we hardly reach into the beautiful plans that God has for us... we see the greatness that He has, but we fail to appreciate the plans He has for us, to play a part in His kingdom.... its like looking thru a window, and not being able to fully appreciate God, coz we cant see... its like God telling me tt even the smallest speck of dirt can blind a person, and forbid me to see the fullness of His capability...
do those bombers deserve to be put down or sympatised wif? sacrificing their lives for a cause they believe to be suitable... leaving behind family and friends... i remember once.. reading somewhere.. tt the Americans report stuff that affect them, but they dun show how the Iraqi ppl are doing.. isnt this a biased view? whose fault is this.. that terror arises? mayb if there was fairness and compassion and mutal understanding b/w both countries... then mayb the rest of the world wld be spared frm this disaster...
still remember monday morning... moi classmate calling at 7am juz to ask whether i was taking the train to sch coz of terrorist warning attacks on trains... i mean.. seriously... calling tt early, juz b4a math exam really freaked me out.. but there was internally peace, coz i didnt feel like God was saying.. take a cab to sch.. haha.. i was practically laughing at moi fd.. hu eventually took a cab to sch.. but.. seiously.. i was questioning God juz b4 i left.. and well.. i told Him tt i knew my time wasnt over yet, coz i hadnt even started the beginning of my race wif Him, and i haven even fulfilled the prophesy tt was said onto me.. so i told Him.. right straight in the face.. that i wasnt prepared to go coz my work for Him wasnt done.. and well.. yah.. im still alive.. and laughing at my fd whom i neva thot wld be so scared of death...
Praise God for His eternal calmness and rationally, tt i cld put to use.. in times of.. sillyness.. fear.. happiness.. solving misunderstandings... may the rest of the world recieve some of that too.. beautiful isnt He? the Lord hu gives His all, everyday, no matter wat we do wrong.. no matter how much we disappoint... His love juz pours out... much more than we can imagine.. every sec of our lives...
ling long picked a waterdrop @ 5:45 am
