Lord I Give You My Heart
Darlene Zschech

This is my desire, to honour You

Lord with all my heart I worship You

all I have within me, I give You praise

all that I adore is in You

Lord I give You my heart

I give You my soul

I live for You alone

Every breath that I take

Every moment I'm awake

Lord have Your way in me

how cld any one possibly miss out

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 12:50 pm

amazing.. countless wows... the things God does in our lives....

never thought this retreat could haf come at a better time.... one week after i got hurt, one week b4 exams.... now im clean, purified, ready to go!!!

it was really a clean up time for me, and i've felt so relieved tt its amazing... sometimes i still doubt, but i know the power of God. a vision was revealed to me, and that was prob a confirmation that God sees my heart. i know God cannot be compared to anyone on earth.. not my family, not my friends... coz He's God.. there is no one higher...

no more hurts, no more pains, no more doubts.. God has a way for me no matter what so.. tts all i can say... doesnt matter whether there's peer presure.. most importantly, i haf learnt, and am still learning that God has to be no. 1 no matter what.. im ready.. ready to accept the calling and gifts of God, and to empower others!!!

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 9:30 am

*Saturday, October 22, 2005*

how many times do we feel as though God is far from us, yet we know that we can always go back to Him coz His wide arms are forever open...

few years ago, i told Him that i hated Him... and He showed me that the situation i was facing helped me grow in Him....

6 years later, i tell Him the same thing.. the situation also includes a family memeber... and His calling me back, to forget the hurts, to forget the words, to depend totally on Him.. its true.. the words dun hurt as much when time passes, but it stays there.. to haunt me, to pull me down...

God's too faitful for me to hate, too beatiful to find a flaw, all i can say is that im the one who's too imperfect to see the perfect plans He has for me... God i will hold on, even if its juz a grab by Your finger, im still holding on...

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:53 am

Your faithfulness

Never fails

Your faithfulness

Everyday You're the same

Unfailing love

Sets me free

Unfailing love

You lead me with Your hand

And all I know

Is when Your arms' around me

Your face is all that I seek

Your love and grace

Picks me up and hold me

You alone are holy

For You alone are great in power

You alone are my strong tower

I will lift my heart and soul to worship You alone

For You alone are my desire

You have set my heart on fire

Iwill lift my heart and soul to worship You alone

And I will follow after You

For You are my desire

O Jesus my heart belongs to You

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:40 am

after 3 shots, we finally got it right..

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:23 am

my not so common gang... but still..

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:22 am

my beautiful faries... cool huh?

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:21 am

my fav yr 12s

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:20 am

me & my 2 preps.. on our favourite slide!!!! *mucks* to the little brave girls!!!

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:18 am

jumping castle

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:17 am

obstecle course

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:16 am

teresa, ramaine, me, suzie,imogen.. oohh so pretty!!!

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:15 am

yr 11 internationals & i!!!.. ohhh.. gonna miss them badly

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:14 am

*Friday, October 21, 2005*

final day.. lots of tears, lots of memories.. but hey, we ended it wif hugs or joy and good lucks for the future..
cant believe sch's officially over, except for the fact tt its only a 1 week break for exams which commence 28th Oct, next fri.. wowo scary...
cant believe all the time spent at sch has juz flown away.. it was almost like yesterday, the 1st time i started sch at IGGS.. at it amazing... it was like yesterday tt i got on the plane to come over... all those experiences for the past 3 years come bck so clearly.. and almost painfully... ooo.. how i miss sch now... but im greatful for not going to sch for any more trial papers... its full on studying and catching up now....

CONGRATS to Sarah-Anne Khoo... on passing ur driving.. though i'll never sit in ur car till a long time later, but i still wanna say.. congrats...

juz had a talk to my mum abt formal partners and getting into a relationship.... haha... can u imagine what a mum like mine will say abt gettig a bf? it was like only today tt my mum was at the airport, hugging me, telling me tt i cld get a bf, but not auzzie one... haha.. yupz.. tts my mum.. always introducing guys to me, yet i dunno whether she's serious when she sys i can get one... hhaa... but yah.. quite a cool convo we shared and well. caught up wif fellow church members back home today.. had sarawak laksa!!!! wowowowowoowwo... mum's cooking the best!!!

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:03 pm

*Thursday, October 20, 2005*

Happy Birthday to You!!!!
woohooo 18th Birthday liao.. yo gurll....
wanna dedicate this entry juz for this special and beautiful gurl.. who led me so close to God, who taught me stuff that i'll neve eva forget, who brought me to my 1st J21 concert...
for a lot of things in life tt i cant explain...
really wanna bring u over to experience City Church wif me.. and i wanna say....
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 4:07 am

*Wednesday, October 19, 2005*

how do u move on in life when someone so close.. a family member has said so hurtful stuff?

during a time when i was most excited, something was said and now its eating right into me...sanne once mentioned that if i dun forgive, the devil will use it and do stuff.. right now.. i can say.. i've just opened tt door to him... how fast did tt hurt sink it, how much did tt break a heart.. its only now tt i realised the true meaning of a heart broken into a million pieces... never haf i cried so much for so long, neva haf i heard the devil's plans so clearly in my head... its like he's eating me up and i know what he wants...

felt so close to doing what was not right, felt so close to giving God up and runing my life, but juz at tt moment, i hear God fighting His rightful way into my head and holding me back...
i know i haf to pray, i know i haf to forgive. i know i haf to get help, i know i haf to speak against, yet despite all this knowledge, i feel helpless..

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 4:10 am

*Thursday, October 13, 2005*

sitting on the way to sch on the train and suddenly i feel sad... i dunno.. was thinking last nite.. where wld i be if God didnt find me and the things that happened to me in the past still happened? where wld i be if things went right, but life went wrong? where wld i be if everything went wrong and i was in melb? wat will happen if i didnt meet sanne in mg and didnt know abt citychurch?

the ans: God juz finds another way around... tts wat i think.... i mean... if we were meant to be found by Him, we will be, no matter how much we try to run and hide away frm Him...

ooo.. one thing im really looking forward to this weekend!!! my darling mama san is on her way!! wooohooo yah!!!!! hoorray!!!!! can u all hear the screams frm over here? haha.. the excitment and the joy.. though her arrival marks the start of " exams drawing closer" and the "end of sch", i still wanna say.. i cant wait!!!! wooohooo....

cant wait to spend time wif her, cant wait to go shopping, eat, hang ard, hug, kiss, love.... yet i know tt i wont haf much time after exams coz she's gonna leave asap.. too bad... juz missing 2 weeks of my bdae... aiyah... so much for a family gathering... thinking abt it... this mth's the only time we can "gather"... after tt... we're all gonna be in 3 diff countries, 3 seperate continents of the world by next yr...

and the most tragic thing!!!! uni offers is only on Jan 17th!!!!!! oh man.. i thot it was the 10th!!!!! now i haf 1 week less time of holiday in spore.. and haf to fly to kuching for chenna new yr... aiyahsh!!!!!!!!!!! tts it... i better start fasting for a new apartment, new flat mate and new life..

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 2:55 am

*Wednesday, October 12, 2005*

wat to say, this weekend has been mind blowing... sat... had to fight wif time to study and bringing xinyuan to church all the way from Clayton... ended up staying home and "studying"... i did get 1 chap of chem done in 2.5 hrs wif Rach over the phone so tts great.. amazing frm my usual concentration span of 1 hr per day.. hhaa.. but i did notes b4 tt so tt was like almost 5 hrs or more on chem.. whew... no wonder i was so tired out!!!

sun: went f0r the lit lecture at melb uni and well.. started off inspired to do better in "the shark net", worried abt the exam after the "exam lecture" and then.. felt like i shld juz give lit up after "the sonnets"... i mean, all frm my class hu went for sonnets felt like we knew something but came out wondering whether we were ok to do the darn book in the 1st place!!! i mean.. what has sch been teaching us?

went to church and wanted to go study at state but went back to the auditorium and listened to songs outside.. what's amazing was i went in for worship and within less than 30 secs, Pstr Sam went on stage and asked us to let the Holy Spirit in tget rid of our worries for the exams!!. i was like.. ok God.. speak to me.. and i juz cried... felt so... relieved tt i went out after worship smiling my head off!!!

then.. during 2nd service.. again during wroship, Pstr Russell came up this time and said tt some ppl were crying in their rooms at night and God says tt its gonna be ok.. and i almost fainted!!! because when he mentioned crying.. i was like "its not me coz i didnt cry" but like immediately, he said.. "not crying phisically out, but crying on the inside" and it was like "ME ME pick ME" kinda feeling... and i really felt God reminding me again and again tt it was time to give my stress for the exam up to Him TOTALLY.. not try to but must do...

tt night, my best friend from Spore called me and she called not expecting any advice frm me, but little did she know tt i had juz experienced watever she was facing at tt moment and was able to bring God's advice into her situation.. amazing how God reminded both of us tt though we were distances apart, we were really juz a phonecall away... and tt tests really juz become testimonies, coz circumstances are brought into our lives for God to see our response towards our circumstances and depend entirely on God...

God juz so made me realise tt i was called on earth for a purpose and tt i or anyone cld juz be the person any1 else was praying for... and wow... i mean.. now i feel so much better, and i dun feel freaked out, juz worried abt time and studying, but im really really happy tt God knows how i feel.. and wants to help me out here... so.. thur's lit exam prac is really going up to Him... and Chem prac exam... well. depends... im gonna focus more on lit then chem though... hhaha... tough luck on wed ming... haha... gotta cram lit and chem for the next day... aiyaya... both subjects tt try to kill me the most.. as if maths hadnt done enuff....

ooooo.. and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONO ONG!!!!!

ling long picked a waterdrop @ 4:35 am